Healthy Models for Relationships
An indispensable guide to what works and what doesn’t work in relationships
What do healthy relationships look like?
Most of the difficulties we face on a daily basis have to do with our relationships - be it with our partners, families, children, parents - or with our friends, neighbors or colleagues at work. This is why most of us really want to know how we can best get along with other people. What do healthy couple relationships look like? What do healthy families look like? What are the characteristics of respectful, constructive conversations? How can we best navigate through the challenges we meet in our daily lives and disagree with our friends, colleagues and families in a respectful way without running away or going on the attack? Is it possible to speak respectfully and reach compromises which function for everyone involved? In short, what do healthy relationships look like?
Barbara Berger’s answer to these important questions are her Healthy Models which describe what healthy relationships look like in practice. The value of these Healthy Models is that when we have clear models of how healthy behavior looks, we can then compare our own relationships to these models and identify what is not working in our relationships. And this can be a big help because then we can begin to work to improve our relationships. The book is packed with practical techniques and exercises.
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From many of her years of clinical experience working with people, Barbara Berger discovered that the value of Healthy Models is that when we have a clear Model for how healthy behaviour looks, people can then compare their own life situations and relationships to these Models and then identify what is off in their own experience. As for those aforementioned Healthy Models, well, I won’t give them all away, as you will obviously have to buy and read this deliciously enticing (for the brain) book yourself, but there are 16 Models, starting with Basic Democratic Principles in Families and Other Close Relationships, The 3 Levels of Conversation, The 4 Main Aspects of Good Couple Relationships, through to You Have Inherent Worth, You Have an Inner Compass, culminating in Life is a Learning Curve and We Are All Evolving and Moderation. The second section contains 12 Basic Observations about this thing called life, and begins with There is Reality and Then There Is Your Thinking About Reality, Your Thinking Determines Your Experience of What Is Going On - Not What Is Going On, through to You Can’t Fix or Control or Change Another Person, culminating in Other People Are Not Responsible For Your Existence and It’s Not Personal! The third and final section brings us 8 Healing Processes, where Berger talks about dealing with stress, dealing with anxiety, using the power of mind wisely for healing and recovery, culminating with The Great Universal Intelligence - the greatest healing power of all. ~ Exclusive Magazine, Review
What a great book! I found the contents of this book to be very well organized, beginning with setting the foundation for all relationships using democratic principles, dealing respectfully with others, looking at our own reality, and taking responsibility for ourselves. I really appreciated the use of examples to show ways that work, and ways that won’t work (and why). I also liked the concept presented of questioning ourselves. The examples and charts in this book enable the reader to easily understand the concepts being presented, and to apply the to their own life. I found this book to be very empowering, and one that could be used by professional therapists/coaches as well as the layman. ~ Bonnie Cehovet, US book reviewer & author
Barbara Berger’s book “Healthy Models for Relationships” is a lifesaver for anyone who has ever had relationship problems and wondered what healthy relationships actually look like – and how to achieve them. In this indispensable guide, Berger shows us precisely and practically what works and what doesn’t work in relationships whether it be with your partner, your mother-in-law or your colleagues at work. If only I had read this book 25 years ago, I could literally have saved myself decades of pain and personal anguish. But better late than never! Thank you, Barbara, for this momentous work, may it heal broken hearts and broken homes everywhere and usher in a new age of healthy, happy relationships based on a true understanding of the human condition, respect and real love. ~ Tim Ray, author of 101 Relationship Myths