I am seeking publication/representation for my book, The Narcissist and the Awakening: A spiritual guide to healing and taking back your power.
While narcissism recovery is a growing market in publishing, there appear to be no books on the spiritual significance of emotional abuse. The Narcissist and the Awakening: A spiritual guide to healing and taking back your power breaks new ground in exploring the karmic significance of destructive relationships, and looks at why it is so important to do the difficult work of breaking free from such patterns. There are plenty of books offering psychological advice on how to deal with it, but The Narcissist and the Awakening: A spiritual guide to healing and taking back your power goes beyond mental and emotional symptoms to look at the roots of narcissism, and how healing can blossom into a spiritual awakening and a whole new area of development.
My own experience of narcissism, combined with my in-depth research into the topic, has resulted in a book that is accessible and timely. There is increasing awareness of emotional abuse in the West, and I believe that many readers would welcome an approach that gives a more profound meaning to their experience of narcissism.
Please find attached a publication proposal and sample material, which I hope is of interest to you. Please let me know if you would like to see more of the manuscript, or to discuss anything further.
Thank you for taking the time to consider my book.
Paris Eula Stephenson
Title: The Narcissist and the Awakening
Subtitle: A spiritual guide to healing and taking back your power
Title: Narcissism and Destiny
Subtitle: A path to healing, power and spiritual awakening
Title Narcissism: A Spiritual Guide
Subtitle: The psychology and healing of emotional abuse
Word count: 35,000 approx
Synopsis: This book looks at emotional abuse from a spiritual perspective. Rooted in psychological research, it also explores the possible influence of karma and past life events on our current relationships. It looks at why we may make soul contracts with narcissists, and why some relationships with our soul family may be destructive. The importance of transcending these ancient karmic connections is also examined, so that we may reclaim our power, discard karmic ties and create our own destiny.
• Types of narcissist, including covert narcissists
• Empaths and super empaths
• The spiritual bond with a narcissist
• Letting go with love - why no contact is so vital
• Finding the wellspring of love within
• Loving the narcissist from a distance
• Towards healing
• Practical advice, such as journaling, prayer and holistic therapies
• Detailed, effective meditations
This book helps give meaning to painful relationships by viewing them as the necessary precursor to growth, and analyses the real role of an abuser in our loves – to push us toward spiritual awakening and a richer, fuller life.
Target readership: Broad. Narcissism has become a mainstream topic, and is increasingly viewed as having cultural as well as individual significance. This book will appeal to many people coping with a difficult relationship, and especially to readers with an interest in esoteric concepts such as karma, reincarnation and spiritual growth.
About the author: Paris Eula Stephenson was born 1990 to an Asian mother and Caribbean father, and grew up in south-east London. After a period of rebellion, she furthered her education by going to college and working part-time. After studying health and social care, Paris worked in a brain injury rehabilitation unit as a highly committed senior rehabilitation assistant, supporting different clients for several years. Her writing began with journaling and, as she began to experience her spiritual awakening, she realised how much she enjoyed writing and decided to use it to reach out to those who have had a simpler experience to herself. Her passion is to help and support others. Paris is a qualified Reiki practitioner, and is training to become a counsellor. This is her first book.
Tiktok: Paris creates short videos on Tiktok offering meditation tips, distance healing and heart-based consciousness that aims to inspire people and help them rediscover their own authenticity and power. She has around 500 followers.
Background: To name a few of the books that have inspired me:
Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch; The Game of Life and How to Play it, Your Word is Your Wand and The Magic Path of Intuition, all by Florence Scovel Shinn - she is one of my favourites, I absolutely love her work and how she delivers.
Deity Linkage Manual and Now Purpose Manual, both by S. Ali Myers
Your Soul Contract Decoded, by Nicolas David Ngan
The Quickest Way to Everything Good, by Robert A. Russell
The Green Witch, by Arin Murphy-Hiscock
Magic Words and How to Use Them, by Genevieve Davis
Other sources include work by Neville Goddard and by Sadhguru
Media contacts including local press eg:
South London Press
Sutton & Croydon Guardian
MyLondon (Croydon Advertiser)
South London Press
Support groups eg:
Survive Narcissistic Abuse, London
Brighton Daughters Of Narcissistic Mothers
Toxic Detox UK, Birmingham
Blogs on narcissism, eg:
• One Mom's Battle Blog
• The Narcissist In Your Life
• Angie Atkinson
• Assc Direct
• The Imaginary Gallery
• Poking Holes | Youtube
• Daylight out of Darkness
• Narcissistic Recovery Healing for Empaths
Competition: There is a profusion of books on narcissism, many of them American, and several self-published books. Narcissism recovery is a growing area; however, there appear to be no books on narcissism recovery from a spiritual perspective (apart from one or two Christian books.)
The Narcissism Recovery Workbook: Skills for Healing from Emotional Abuse
Callisto Media, Rockridge Press, 2021, ISBN: 9781648764714
Exercises rooted in positive psychology, CBT, meditation and other therapies.
Inner Healing and Deliverance Handbook: Hope to Bring Your Heart Back to Life
Eden, 2022, ISBN: 9780800799229
Christian perspective on healing after relationship abuse.
Be Who You Want
Robinson, 2022, ISBN: 978-1472141026
Popular book by a cognitive neuroscientist, exploring the science of personality and how we can change ourselves for the better.
How To Kill A Narcissist: Debunking The Myth Of Narcissism And Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse
Independently published, 2016, ISBN: 978-1520117676
Analyses the psychological manoeuvres used by narcissists, and advises how to resist them.
Narcissist: The Definitive Guide
Dr Theresa J. Covert
Independently published, 2020, ISBN: 979-8668754656
General explanation of narcissism, but more emphasis on information than on healing.
Selfie: How the West Became Self-Obsessed
Picador, 2018, ISBN : 978-1447283669
A well-regarded cultural analysis of narcissism.
Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed
Wendy T Behary et al
New Harbinger, 2021, 3rd ed, ISBN : 978-1684037704
A self-help classic, this is a practical, step-by-step communication guide to help readers cope with and confront the narcissist.
Power: Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse: Essays on Malignant Narcissism and Recovery from Emotional Abuse
Thought Catalog, 2017, ISBN: 9781945796326
Psychological analysis of narcissistic techniques such as manipulation, gaslighting etc, and how to combat them
Boundaries After a Pathological Relationship
Published independently, 2016, ISBN: 978-1523368822
Psychological advice on boundary settings, for individual, group or clinical use.
Out of the Fog: Moving From Confusion to Clarity After Narcissistic Abuse
Morningstar Media, 2018, ISBN : 978-0999593516
Popular self-published book based on FOG - an acronym meaning ‘Fear, Obligation, and Guilt’ and why FOGs keep us in abusive relationships.
Never Again - Moving On from Narcissistic Abuse and Other Toxic Relationships
Dr Sarah Davies
Troubadour, 2019, ISBN: 978-1838590314
Insights and advice based on the author’s clinical Harley Street practice.
The Narcissist and the Awakening: A spiritual guide to healing and taking back your power
Introduction - Who this book is for
Chapter 1 – Healing
Chapter 2 - What is a narcissist?
Chapter 3 - The signs of a covert narcissist and how emotional abuse works
Chapter 4 - The empath and the super empath
Chapter 5 - Going no contact
Chapter 6 – Spiritual awakening
Chapter 7 - Soul connections
Chapter 8 - The soul contract with a narcissist
Chapter 9 - The spiritual connection with a narcissist
Chapter 10 - Holistic healing methods
Chapter 6 - Spiritual awakening
Many individuals who share a bond with a narcissist, or who experience emotional abuse, tend to go through a spiritual awakening at some point, usually after the relationship ends or they step away from the person who is abusing them. Because an awakening is different for every individual, it can’t be specifially defined, but in simple terms it can be described as a new-found awareness of a spiritual reality, during which the dimensions of reality beyond the ego mind dissolve and let go, allowing room for our higher self to step in. All of us have an ego, and it is needed to balance our moral and idealistic standards. However, it’s important not to allow the ego to dominate us, as this involves the lower aspect of our spiritual self.
When we leave the spiritual realm before a new incarnation on earth, we leave behind our real selves of pure love and light, our memory is wiped clear, and ego becomes present. An awakening occurs to remind us of who we really are. Many individuals experience an awakening during or after trauma of some kind. A traumatic experience tends to change us, and questions will often pop up. Why has this happened to me? How could this happen to me? What we are doing here is reflecting on life, which then opens up doors within us, doors we have never opened before, places we didn’t quite understand. These feelings tend to challenge our belief systems and habits. After such traumatic experiences as the breakup of an abusive relationship, physical injury, or losing a loved one, our heart opens up, pushing aside the ego and, very often, activating an awakening.
This can be described as a heart chakra awakening, or kundalini awakening. Kundalini may be understood as an internal force, that helps us to navigate and align with our true self, the higher self. Kundalini energy helps heal the internal wounds in our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual body, by encouraging us to release all the behavioural patterns that do not serve us on our path to enlightenment or self-development. Kundalini awakening practice aims to cleanse our chakra system, so that the energy of spirit can flow easily through us. Some individuals activate a kundalini awakening through practising meditation.
Before an awakening
Naturally, as human beings we are drawn to wanting the best for ourselves, and once we achieve one goal, we tend to set out another and to begin a new cycle, craving more and more of whatever it is that drives us. Acting on our desires is what often leads to a spiritual awakening, and indeed I believe it is divinely crafted in this way so us to give us the maximum benefit. We in our soul have certain desires with which we come into this physical realm, and, once acted upon, these desires have the potential to awaken us to higher levels of consciousness. Before an awakening there may be a feeling that something is missing, something just does not seem right in our life. There is a longing for deeper meaning. Even if you have a great job and a loving family, there may still be something inside pinching at you, telling you there must be something more to all this. You can’t put your finger on it, but may question yourself, and question God, if you are religious or believe in some form of higher power. You may wonder, why am I not content with life? Why are things not going my way? Whatever the questions may be, this is the voice of your soul speaking to you. This questioning can last for months, or even years. The soul is searching for a higher consciousness, and this is in fact the first step of an awakening.
What follows is a series of stages that lead to personal transformation. The length of time each stage lasts is different from one person to another, and may last months or years, depending on your own personal growth. You may go back and forth from one stage to another. You may experience many dark nights of the soul, as you wrestle with old patterns or habits that require purging. But don’t worry, this is a forgiving process and there is no deadline on it. If the higher self isn’t found the first time round, or the cycles of awakening aren’t completed, then the experience of an awakening usually repeats itself some years down the line.
The seven stages of a heart awakening
Most often this is a beautiful, amazing time, and for a short period it may feel as if you are on cloud nine, with deep blissfulness flowing through you. It’s a feeling like no other, and like nothing you have ever experienced before. Love and joy are being transmitted into your body like magic, and the emotions tend to be overwhelming, so much so that you may want to cry. It may feel strange and confusing, and you may not understand what is going on, but you know that something different is happening inside your body. You may have a feeling that your chest is opening up and coming alive, and this feeling is something you never want to end.
The dark night of the soul
Feelings of ecstacy and uplift don’t always last, but rest assured that this is quite natural. The dark night of the soul is a well-documented phase in spiritual growth, and few people really escape it. Here, things become very dark, and you are likely to feel lost and scared. Anxiety and depression may creep in, maybe panic attacks. You may feel that you are unable to manage life, and, at its most extreme, that you are facing the void. You may want to isolate yourself, and your eating habits and sleeping patterns may change. The people around you notice that something is up, but somehow they can’t reach you. You may worry that this is going to last for ever, but, it is necessary to realise that all these apparently negative feelings serve a purpose. They are there for a reason. The dark night of the soul is there to awaken you, to push you to deeper levels of consciousness. You must first experience a death of the old you, and the dark night of the soul is the death that is followed by a rebirth, to bring forward the new you. This stage is a shock to your system, but it’s how you realise that you are the answer to all your questions. You are the one who needs to change, because you can’t stay in the pain and sadness for ever.
Exploring healing methods
During this stage you may begin to look for answers, reading and researching, and taking the first steps towards healing yourself. It’s here that you become interested in spirituality, mystic arts, magic, numerology and philosophy. You begin to look at your old patterns, belief systems and habits. In time, you probably begin to notice some positive changes taking effect. However, you may still not be cured, and some pain continues to trigger you.
Signs of enlightenment
During this time, you catch glimpses of enlightenment. Your meditation and healing practices will develop. Where meaning was once lost, you will now begin to see and notice how much you have developed. You may look back on your old nature and realise, ‘I needed to change myself and must keep going.’ This time will likely involve much reflection and increasing understanding of how you once were.
You may start to feel connected to the universe and everything in it. You will now certainly notice how much you have changed, and how much you are growing in all areas of life. Of course, this step will take time, as does any new lifestyle. Now is when you see the spiritual world through a new lens. You will know which practices best work for you, and above all, the meaning that was once not there and that caused much of your soul anguish has now shown up, because you have worked on yourself and your soul has matured.
Surrendering to the journey
So now you have done the shadow work and spent many months if not years improving yourself. But something is still wrong. The pain is still there. Anger and fear many arise, and you may still be hurting. Now comes the time when you have to let go and release the unwanted energy that you’re holding onto. This is not always so easy; you may go back and forth a few times and this is normal as the ego always tries to creep back in and take over again. But after some time, you will come to terms with releasing and going with the flow of the universe, allowing your higher self to guide you.
Finally, you see the light at the end of the tunnel. The ego is no longer who you are. Some describe this final stage as the death of the ego, although I prefer to say that the ego is still present, but we can decide when to use it. By this last stage you have much more of a feel for who you are, and your personal awareness is continuing to develop. You reach a place where you realise that you are here to serve others, not just yourself. The old self is now gone and the new self will continue to expand. Our awareness is always growing and our perception changing. I describe this as a staircase effect, and with each step we take we experience a mini-awakening.
When will it happen?
You may not know when an awakening is coming, although sometimes it occurs through deep meditation. Generally, though, an awakening is going to happen when we least expect it and when it does it will be in perfect divine timing, when it is most needed. There are however a few ways for some individuals to pick up hints as to when an awakening will occur. For example, you are in the questioning stage and you know that something isn’t right, but can’t put your finger on it. This soul restlessness can be seen as a hint that things are changing, especially if you try and follow it to its core and see what it is really saying. What is your dissatisfaction telling you? What do you most want to do and where have circumstances held you back? Often, our deepest personal desires lead to awakenings and if you have a strong urge to act on some profound desire, this can be your soul encouraging you. These desires may not always be viewed as morally acceptable by society – for example adultery or illegal drug use - but can often trigger awakenings. I suggest you look behind the desire and ask what it is really saying, and explore any restlessness carefully before acting on it. The change you end up with may not always be the one you set out to achieve.
The awakening has physical symptoms which vary from one person to another, and are different at each stage. This can be anything from bad skin and rashes to headaches and weepiness. Body and mind are going through so many changes that it is only natural to experience physical changes as well. All our emotions rise to the surface, meaning we may feel joyful and content one minute, but deeply sad and unhappy the next. Sometimes the blissful feeling may last longer, perhaps days or weeks, to be followed by a crash of depression or extreme sadness. This creates a real roller coaster effect. Providing you have no illness or are not worried about a health condition, there is no need to be panicked by this. Rather, try to go with the flow of it. Your body is in the process of an upgrade. Everything in an awakening works in stages, as everything in life is a cycle. Pay attention to the moon cycles and how they may affect your emotions and growth. Writing it down is a good way to document what is happening and to chart your progress and any changes. Pay attention to any patterns and synchronicities. Our spirit guide and healing team like to communicate with us in this way. For example, seeing 999 repeatedly indicates that a certain cycle is finishing and a new one is about to begin.
Disclaimer – be aware of possible adverse effects
Practising this meditation may induce a spiritual awakening. Spiritual awakenings can bring a flood of emotions to the surface so it’s important to understand that some of this may be unpleasant or uncomfortable, and can last a few days or a few weeks. It’s best if you are in good physical and mental health when you begin this practice. Before proceeding you may want to speak with a spiritual teacher or healer to guide you through, this is entirely up to you and is only a suggestion if you feel you need support. If in any doubt about your physical or mental health, consult your doctor or other healthcare provider before trying this meditation.
During this meditation you may feel an urge to sway or fall backwards as a result of the kundalini energy rising within you. It is therefore advised that you do this meditation sitting on a bed or sofa.
• First, find a space where you will not be disturbed for at least half an hour
• Sit up straight, as comfortably as you can.
• Place your feet firmly on the floor to ground them.
• Remember, it’s important for you to be relaxed and comfortable.
• Breathe in deeply through your mouth, hold for three seconds, then release your breath out through your mouth, allowing the breath to be exaggerated.
• Repeat this four to five times. Breathing this way helps more oxygen to flow around your body. You may feel a little light headed or tingly, and that’s fine.
• When you feel ready close your eyes, and continue to breathe naturally
• Now imagine a red coloured orb or spiral in your pelvic area. See this orb getting brighter and bigger with every inhale.
• After a few moments, or when the orb/spiral is big enough to fill your entire pelvic area, visualise red light moving up just below your navel.
• Now imagine the light is turning into an orange orb/spiral.
• See it growing bigger on every inhale. Allow this orange orb/spiral to fill the area below your navel with its warm orange light.
• When you are ready, visualise, orange light moving up your body and into your stomach area. See this light turning yellow.
• Watch in your mind’s eye as this yellow light turns into an orb/spiral.
• See it glowing with its bright yellow colour. Let this spiral expand until it fills all of your stomach area.
• When you are ready, see this yellow light moving up into the centre of your chest.
• Once it reaches your chest, allow this yellow light to burst open with loving green light.
• Allow this green light to flow all over your chest area. See it expanding with every breathe you take. See the green light spiralling around and filling the space in your chest. Feel its loving energy flowing outwardly.
• When you feel ready, see the green light travel up into your throat area.
• See in your mind as this light turns from green to blue.
• Visualise the blue light turning into a spiral and spinning round in your throat area. Allow the spiral to grow bigger. Watch as the light from the blue spiral travels up and fills your mouth.
• After a couple of minutes see the blue light moving up through you and into the centre of your head.
• Visualise this blue light changing into purple. Allow this purple light to fill your entire head. Imagine it rippling over and into your brain with purple waves of light.
• After a couple of minutes, see the purple light move up and out through the top of your head. As the light travels out of your head, it turns into pure white light.
• Let the light reach about 30cms (roughly a foot) above your head.
• Then visualise this white light shooting back into your head and down through your whole body. Feel as it passes back through each chakra. Feel it going through each spiral, down through your legs and out through the soles of your feet into the ground beneath you.
• When you are ready open your eyes slowly. You may feel tingly or light-headed. Allow yourself a few minutes to sit and take in the experience.
Practise this meditation daily for at least three weeks, and be open to receive the blessings it has to offer.
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