Terence Watts has managed in one book to create a real-world ‘warts and all’ manual that both men and women can use to navigate the often choppy and often murky waters of relationships. Each chapter is like a kind wind guiding you gently into calmer waters.
Early in the book, there is a fascinating questionnaire to alert you to your specific personality - one you probably won’t know that you have - with respect to relationships. Terence then shows through a knowledge of common pitfalls, the role of genes, and his vast experience working with clients - how to develop satisfying lasting relationships.
On one level, we know that a ‘relationship’ is not always a useful or helpful word. We are simply in the process of ‘relating’ on an ongoing basis, and the ground continues to change, as we grow and evolve. Terence deals with these shifts and real problems, gives lucid advice, and better, plenty of clear examples of effective communication across a range of styles. You will know how to communicate best with your partner, and if you don’t have one, you will know how to communicate, so you find one – and keep them.
The keen attention to detail that author brings for communicating better in relationships is significant. He also puts into context the many years of evolution that are play a role in the competing desires that men and women often have, but feel they shouldn’t. He addresses how to not only prevent mistakes, but why self-acceptance and understanding are so critical. In fact, he argues persuasively that only by being true to who you are can you ultimately relate.
In showing how to communicate better, he shows you how to identify and strike up the communication between you and the ideal partner. Want to know the best partner for your personality? Terence shows you how to identify this using clear criteria - from the body language down to the way they speak to the dress code. Never again will you pick the wrong person because you know will be able to discern their type - and know whether it is a match for yours.
Want to know the two words to use, and the one to avoid when having an argument with your partner - to ensure you don’t get a divorce? Then delve into chapter nine.
Ultimately, the author guides you through the core of a lasting mutually satisfying relationship: self-acceptance and honesty of your own needs and desires, tempered with mindfulness of your bad habits - and a willingness to have enough behavioural flexibility to make things work.
Chapter ten delves into seven important factors to keep your relationship alive. This is an essential checklist of golden rules that is worth the price of the book alone, and is worthy of anyone’s time. The author not only brings many years of experience as a renowned therapist, but also a clear writing style that is easy to read – with proven advice that is simple to apply.
This is an honest book that does not shy away from how to initiate difficult conversations to deal with problems. The author understands the many problems that people have, but also the real-world skills they need to overcome them. The four situations the author suggests that you understand to prevent long term harmony (chapter thirteen) were quite eye opening, and yet, once you have read them, you will imagine how you ever managed without knowing them.
The author includes fascinating exercises that work powerfully with your subconscious, including his work with ‘virtual personas’. The benefits of this one set of techniques and its application cannot be over-estimated, and we should be profoundly grateful for the time the author has taken to develop, share and make these as accessible as possible.
The author’s experience and expertise in the area of relationships, sexual dysfunction and effective communication based on your personality make this a valuable practical book. It is rich, with nuggets of gold ready to be mined beneath the surface for the attentive reader.
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Top reviews from other countries
G. Mckinnon
You do not need to be a therapist to benefit from this book!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 29, 2014Elizabeth
A book that delivers what it says on the cover and more!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 16, 2014Amazon Customer
well written common sense therapy
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 18, 2019