Read an Excerpt

Burnout to Brilliance

Strategies for Sustainable Success

John Hunt Publishing Ltd.

Identifying Signs and Symptoms

In August 2013 I participated in a panel discussion titled 'Modern Living: Less Stress, More Living' at the Wilderness Festival, deep in the Oxfordshire countryside. The conversation was hosted by the Global Director of Huffington Post Lifestyle and Editor-in-Chief, Carla Buzasi. The hot topic of discussion was how to press the pause button on our addiction to busy-ness and avoid stress and burnout.

With me on the panel was Ruby Wax, an American comedian, writer and mental health campaigner. In her book Sane New World, Wax states:

Learning how to self-regulate means you can sense the early warnings before a full on burnout or depression and do something about it.

If you can sense the early warning signs you can avoid burnout completely. In fact, I believe is even easy to spot and stop burnout, when you know how. The problem is that when you get stuck being a slave to busy-ness it can be difficult to pause and stay still long enough to reflect because you are so pre-occupied with your struggle to survive.

Burnout can seemingly appear from nowhere and trap us like quick sand. It can cause us to sink deeper and deeper into an experience of overwhelm, stress and exhaustion. As this happens, not only are we drowning ourselves but also drowning out the voices of those around us who are trying to help. We can't hear them. We can't hear ourselves.

And yet, in our darkest moment, in the very depths of despair, the still quiet voice of inner wisdom is always present and can still be heard.

Sharon Hensall, editor of Inspired Times Publications, recalls how burnout made her feel like a slave to her mind. When herbody started to shut down; however, she finally chose to listen and found the guidance she needed in order to turn things around:

Looking back it amazes me that I survived that period of my life as I clocked up 100 hours of work some weeks and was living on four hours' sleep a night. There was too much pressure in all aspects of life. I was always pushing myself to work harder rather than accepting if things weren't achievable in 'normal' hours then maybe it wasn't sustainable. I was so stuck in patterns of burnout that I found I was unable to step back from the situation and find a solution. Because I felt so overwhelmed at the time I simply couldn't seem to see any way out that didn't involve more hard work.

My health, both physical and mental suffered ... I began to feel an exhaustion so deep that it scared me. Slowly my mind felt it was clouding over, I no longer could remember all I needed to do and needed to make note of everything to ensure mistakes wouldn't be made. My body was starting to buckle. I felt I was dragging my body through the day – as though I was climbing mountains even when walking downhill. There was an awareness rising that my lifestyle wasn't sustainable. I began to feel defeated – not something I'd ever felt before.

I felt obsessed with sleep but no matter how much I got, I felt exhausted – my dreams were intense and exhausting so I never felt rested the next morning. My muscles hurt – my whole body hurt in fact. I felt out of breath from any slight exertion. My memory was poor and I couldn't retain any information for more than a few seconds. I felt overwhelmed and when alone, overcome with emotion and depleted. I felt as if my life force was running out. The doctors said I was low in iron and an herbalist felt my symptoms were that of adrenal fatigue.

I felt that my only hope was to clear my mind and see things differently. I booked on a retreat. I felt it was my only hope to clear my mind. I had an epiphany whilst on the retreat – I reached a deeper understanding of how I'd created this situation. I saw that my approach had brought on my burnout. I never let up – I'd lost my connection with the truth of each moment and had created a mountain in my mind, which needed climbing each day to reach perfection. I over-complicated things as I felt that I needed to achieve so much to satisfy my own expectations, which were actually impossible.

I now listen to my body and deeper instincts – approaching each day with a manageable amount to do and rest when I need it. I no longer feel a slave to my mind.

We all have an internal voice of wisdom and intuition. It acts as a guidance system to help maintain balance of body, mind and soul. It nudges us gently toward the things that are aligned with our highest good.

Are you willing to listen?

Intuition can come in the form of ideas that suddenly appear in your thoughts, in images in your dreams, as whispers of your inner voice, or as sensations in your body indicating that something feels instinctively right or wrong. It also shows up when we feel drawn to certain people, places and things and repelled by others.

Our internal thoughts, emotions, energy and external experiences are intrinsically linked. Metaphysical messages signaling that we are burning out can come through both our internal and external environments.

As we go about our day-to-day lives, guidance can show up as images or pictures that we see in magazines, on posters or on the TV. It can be heard in the lyrics of music or words that jump out in conversations. It can also present itself during the apparent coincidence of certain events that on some unexplained level a deeper part of our inner knowing interprets as somehow being symbolic.

Whenever our body is exposed to stress we receive whispers of guidance accompanied by mild physical symptoms like a headache, sore back, difficulty sleeping, tiredness, dizziness or indigestion problems. These signs are designed to help us slow down and bring things back into balance in our lives.

In the western world we often suppress these warning signs by self-medicating without exploring the root cause. Instead of pausing to explore the reason for having a headache or backache and treating the root cause, we often choose to pop a pill and carry on.

When we override such signs then the body starts to shout for us to pay attention by sending more serious conditions like cancer, a heart attack or stroke.

One of my first experiences of recognising this mind-body connection occurred back in 2007 when I worked with an incredible woman named Jenny who, in addition to accepting a role on the board for the law firm that she worked for, was also raising three children as a single parent and attempting to provide care for her elderly father who had recently taken ill. She said it was as if she had been 'carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders'.

Jenny had become accustomed to functioning under pressure; as long as she kept herself busy she felt she could keep going at an incredible pace. Jenny said that her intuition was telling her to lessen her load, but instead she was choosing to try keep doing it all. As a result she started to experience depression, which she said felt like an overwhelming pressure that she just could not shift.

In our sessions together we explored the root cause beliefs underlying Jenny's compulsion to take on so much responsibility. We also looked at some of the changes that Jenny could make in her life that would help to reduce the pressure. She came up with creative ways to delegate some of the things she had previously been struggling to handle alone. After a few days she reported feeling 'lighter, brighter, and more confident in coping with everything at work and at home'. Her depression disappeared.

When we heal our minds, we heal our bodies. We will explore this in more detail in the second section of the book, Recovery.

Emotional and Cognitive Symptoms

When humans experience ongoing stress, our physiological functions (e.g., sleep, learning and memory) are affected by our thoughts, emotions and memories. This can result in memory problems, the experience of depression, anxiety disorders, labyrinthitis (extreme dizziness), low libido, mental exhaustion, insomnia, persistent restlessness, feelings of overwhelm, moodiness, loneliness, the inability to relax, recurrent dreams, difficulty concentrating, reduced judgment, constant worrying, and can even accelerate brain aging.

These symptoms negatively affect our general behaviour and health choices. When we are chronically stressed we can become more sensitive to criticism, lose our sense of humor and develop nervous tendencies. We are more likely to make poor dietary choices, eat too much or too little, and become dependent on caffeine and other stimulants, in addition to seeking alcohol, cigarettes or other drugs to help us relax.

Depression

In my work with people overcoming burnout I have met many people (like Jenny) who suffer from depression. Not everyone who experiences burnout experiences the same symptoms, so not everyone who burns out can relate to depression, but many people report sensations of persistent sadness or feelings of worthlessness and helplessness that are typically associated with depression.

We all have days where we just don't feel right and no matter what we do, no matter how positively we think, we just feel rotten. When this is ignored, it can continue and eventually lead to the experience of depression.

According to the World Health Organisation more than 350 million people worldwide suffer from some form of depression. British workers are the most depressed in Europe according to the Impact of Depression in the Workplace in Europe Audit conducted in 2012.

Jeff Foster, author of The Deepest Acceptance, who himself journeyed through depression, points out that the verb has the similar phonetic sound as 'deep rest'. He believes that depression is a hidden invitation to release the pressure of being someone you are not so that you can 'rest deeply in the core of who you are'.

As is the case with many challenges in life, including depression, I find that 'what you resist, persists', and that accepting and exploring a difficult situation ultimately allows us to reconnect with our true passions and purpose and be renewed.

I have been incredibly moved by the story of Beverley Jones, one of my clients, who credits several techniques that I will be sharing in this book for helping her to shift old patterns of doing too much and trying to be everything to everyone. Beverley experienced physical and emotional signs in the form of panic attacks and depression, which she spent years overriding until her body eventually forced her to stop.

Beverley reported feeling like a failure when she faded from being her 'strong, able, resilient and confident' former self into a 'crying, de-energised, angry, negative person' who felt 'useless and pathetic'.

Her breakthrough came when she found the strength to reach out for help, which began with going to see her physician. With the support of antidepressants, counseling and coaching, Beverley gradually rebuilt her confidence and her life. After attending a vision board workshop that I led in 2011, she said her thinking was 'moved to another level' as she 'was taken down another avenue' of her journey and 'literally walked away' with her 'future in (her) hands'.

Beverley wrote about her journey through burnout and her experience of depression in her book titled Made It Thru the Rain, a brave account of how she learned to listen to her body and rediscovered the powerful person who resided within.

Anxiety

Statistics indicate that anxiety disorders have soared internationally since the credit crunch. In the UK the number of people being treated for anxiety more than quadrupled between 2006/2007 and 2010/2011. In the USA anxiety disorders have become the most common mental illness suffered by adult Americans today.

Anxiety is commonly triggered by stress, usually presenting itself in response to external events or circumstances. It can also surface as a result of internal fears and habitual negative thinking. For many people it can come unexpectedly, in response to positive as well as negative life changes, and at any age and stage.

Common physical symptoms associated with anxiety include excessive sweating, nausea, diarrhoea, irritability, frequent urination, disturbed sleep, headaches or trembling. These symptoms can be annoying when you want to create the impression of being as cool as a cucumber. Medication can help to mask the symptoms but not to address the root of the issue.

Some psychiatrists believe that too many people are being prescribed medication such as Prozac and Valium to help them cope with feelings and anxieties that are considered quite normal responses to financial worries or work-related stresses:

The pharmaceutical industry is always looking for new markets, and anxiety disorder is increasingly the diagnosis given to people who are distressed and upset. GPs don't have time to talk to patients about why they are really unhappy; it is easier to treat situations as a standard disorder.

Dr Joanna Moncrieff, Consultant Psychiatrist

If you feel that anxiety is preventing you from functioning properly in normal day-to-day situations or is manifesting itself as a physical ailment(s), then it is important to seek medical advice.

Severe anxiety can be debilitating and requires professional help. Be sure to ask your doctor what kind of psychological counseling or other talking therapies and stress management programmes are available to you in addition to exploring medical treatments. Speaking with someone can make a big difference. There are many psychotherapeutic, coaching, yoga and meditation-based exercises and actions that you can take to help you overcome and avoid general anxiety.

Mild anxiety is often experienced as a state of overall concern about confronting common work/life challenges like taking a test, delivering a speech or meeting the in-laws for the first time. This level of anxiety may cause feelings of nervousness, worry and apprehension.

Shortly after her rise to fame as a popular author, J.K. Rowling publicly reported experiencing anxiety in response to struggling with what she likened to a 'tsunami of demands'. She said that the experience felt overwhelming, as if she had to solve everyone's problems. In order to help her cope, Rowling sought therapy, which she said helped a great deal.

Some of the most outwardly successful people I have worked with have sought my expertise to help them face their fears and control anxiety. I use a combination of life coaching, martial arts, meditation and art psychotherapy techniques to help people identify the root cause of their concerns, confront their challenges, breathe through their worries, replace negative talk with positive affirmations, visualise themselves experiencing successful outcomes and prioritise sufficient rest and relaxation. Many of these techniques are within this book.

Top 5 Tips to Increase Your Sense of Inner Calm and Confidence:

1. Remember to breathe: One of the main symptoms of anxiety is shallow breathing. Whenever you feel overwhelmed, stop whatever you are doing and go to a window or get outside. (Close your eyes or gaze into space if for any reason you are in a situation where you can't do this.) Turn your focus to your breathing. Take three full deep breaths, inflating your stomach like a baby as you breathe in. Notice your breath filling your lungs completely as you breathe in. Listen to your breath as you exhale slowly and completely. Spend a few moments concentrating only on your breathing. With each further breath hold the thought: 'I am breathing in peace'. And with each next out breath hold the thought: 'I am breathing out tension'. This will instantly help to reoxygenate and renergise your blood cells and bring an associated sense of calm and increased well-being.

2. Flip your negative thoughts: Begin to notice your self-talk, the little things you repeat to yourself each day, and ask yourself whether they are positive or negative. If they are negative try and flip them to create more empowering positive phrases. Repeat these new phrases to yourself instead. By doing this you are literally retraining your brain to think positively, overcome anxiety and achieve success in all areas of your life.

3. Feel your fear: I earlier noted the phrase, 'what you resist, persists'. Acknowlege your fear by giving it a means of expressing itself rather than supressing or fighting it, which will only make it worse. Try shouting all your frustration into a pillow, shaking your whole body to discharge your nervous tembles or tensing up all of your muscles as tightly as you can, from the top of your head all the way to the tips of your toes, hold for a few moments, then instantly release and feel your tension melt away.

4. Smile from the inside: A positive attitude is contagious. Start by imagining a big smile inside your stomach that grows to fill your whole body. Notice how your face wants to smile as a response. Allow your face to smile. Now focus on a positive thought that will energise and uplift you today. Return to it anytime you need a boost.

5. Visualise success: Instead of focusing on the worst case scenario, try visualising the best outcome that you could possibly have. Play a video in your mind's eye of you calmly and confidently overcoming your challenge, feel the sensations of success flowing through your body, and hear the responses of those around you supporting you. You hold the power to make it your reality. Replay it often!

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Excerpted from Burnout to Brilliance by Jayne Morris. Copyright © 2014 Jayne Morris. Excerpted by permission of John Hunt Publishing Ltd..
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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