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15 Ways to Own Your Future

Take Control of Your Destiny in Business & in Life

John Hunt Publishing Ltd

The Work/Home Environment

Things do not happen for a reason; it only seems that way after we have made our own opportunity

Over the last thirty years we have seen dramatic changes take place in the world, from the definition of the family, to the definition of the workplace. We have seen major technological changes that have impacted the way we communicate in business and in our personal lives. While all this has been happening, we have seen the population of the United States increase to over 300 million people. We have also seen our population become much more diverse, with immigration adding millions to our number and diversity to our social and work environments.

With the technological advances in wireless, computers, and robotics we have seen an increasing dependence on "screen" communication displacing "eyeball-to-eyeball/one-on-one" direct communication. We now communicate more by screen. Ironically, our desire to connect intimately with others in order to elevate self-esteem has been magnified significantly. We have become accustomed to communicating from a distance while craving the need to be individually recognized and appreciated.

The end result of all of these changes (which certainly would take more than a book to define) has brought businesses and individuals to a point where there is more to do than we have the time to accomplish.

The impact over the last twenty years from the emergence of women in more business leadership roles has been huge. As a result, we have a wider, more rounded, thought-provoking, creative, and exhilarating perspective in the work environment today.

The "good old boy" environment has been challenged, and even though not entirely replaced, is not the foundation of all business cultures today.

With each new generation entering the workforce, there is a new psyche that continues to evolve. We are beginning to see the work/home demands increase as the need for more quantity and improved quality scribbles the line between gender responsibilities and work/home responsibilities. With 24/7 communication capability enhancement, the line between work and home continues to get grayer. We are now advancing to more of a work/life integration acknowledgment which looks at the achievement of balance at another level.

We have evolved with a more diverse population as a whole into a world made smaller by a global economy. Enhanced communication technology and improved travel has resulted in worldwide mergers and acquisitions. For many, trying to slow down uncontrollable increased responsibilities and distractions has become an all-consuming challenge.

With this perpetual change there is one thing that continues to stay the same. It is the desire of people to feel a sense of control while maintaining and sustaining some measure of self-esteem. Alphonse Karr said in 1849, "The more things change, the more they remain the same." This may apply more today than it did in 1849.

We have begun to see a thirst for finding a way to get the most out of everything we do while finding a way to enjoy what we do at the same time. As much as things have changed over the last thirty years, both socially and in the business environment, basic individual needs have not changed. Purpose, enjoyment of others, and responsibilities with redeeming value are still high priorities.

We are constantly told that the value system has been overturned and that ruthlessness and deceit have replaced respect, integrity, and a good work ethic. Nothing could be further from the truth.

We are continually fed through headlines in print, the Internet, and on television news that doing the right thing the right way no longer applies. It is not true.

We are led to believe that the world is overrun with cynics, and that cynicism and skepticism are the new creed. We are led to believe that doubt should be the first reaction when interacting with another individual or when receiving any form of communication.

All of the above-mentioned phenomena may certainly have some basis, but this feeling of despair and acceptance will certainly not advance an individual's success in any facet of his or her life. Nor will it help you achieve any sense of enjoyment.

The messages in this book are not only important individually. Practicing them as a whole will help produce long-lasting relationships, purpose, and success in every facet of your life.

There is a way to approach work, home, your health, and to appreciate yourself along with others. There is a way to get through the obstacles and challenges and circumstances that you face on a daily basis and come out on top. There is a way to continually move forward and attain a higher level of satisfaction. There is a way to build a network that opens more opportunities than you could ever imagine. There is a way to get in control and get the most out of life.

The next fifteen chapters are a brief and viable summary of the approaches and values you can use to achieve more enjoyment in everything you do. They will help you gain a sense of control in a world that on the surface seems to be twirling out of control. The 15 Ways discussed in these chapters will also help you better achieve collaboration in the work environment, along with aiding in the creation of a better micro-work environment.

A Positive Perspective

A positive perspective does not insure success; it improves learning, which is a prerequisite to success

Have you ever been around people who see the negative in everything? The first thing you will notice, beyond them being a great prophesier when it comes to their own destiny, is that most people do not enjoy being near them. It is no coincidence that their "sky is falling" mentality always turns out to be true for them. The reason for the sky always falling is that they self-consciously do everything they can to make sure things fall apart — and as such, they do.

If these negative-thinking individuals put as much thought and effort into focusing on positive achievement, they might be amazed at the good results they achieved. The first Way to Take Control of Your Destiny in Business and Life is to have a positive perspective.

This key Way can lead to better collaboration because most people enjoy working closely with people who bring a positive perspective to any project or discussion.

As a general manager in a growing industry for many years, I had a market manager who reported to me who used negativity to the limit in his perspective. When I would make my weekly call to him or visit him for a few days, his negative view on how things were going or the direction they were going was more than I could take.

This negative perspective on the present and the future existed while managing in an industry that was still in the maturation process. Most markets were experiencing 20% to 40% annual revenue increases. He was a carryover from a previous company owner and his "Who Moved My Cheese" attitude was not moving forward.

I can clearly say that in my over thirty-five years of managing people through change associated with acquisitions, mergers, and restructuring, a positive perspective is what separated those who made a smooth adjustment from those who could not accept the change.

I have always been described as a very positive person, but even I was having difficulty moving this manager's perspective forward. When I asked for any analysis or assessment of how things were going, I could count on him to give me the worst scenario possible. He could give me a million reasons why business was not good, and most of them had to do with changes he could not adjust to. His staff was not optimistic about the state of business either. What a surprise!

What was even more tragic about his poor perspective was that he was a nice person. I enjoyed spending time with him when I could look past his business perspective. Unfortunately, I was not there to make friends. My job was to maximize the results from the business in every market, period.

After a year of banging my head against the wall, trying to get this guy to be more positive and using all of the positive strategy I had in my arsenal, I actually had made some progress.

I walked in one day for what I thought was a surprise visit. As it turned out, I was the one who received the surprise. He had made the decision that adapting to the new company was not going to happen, and that it was best he move on to something else. He had come up with a solution as opposed to finding more reasons things couldn't be done. This was the most positive change I had seen from him from the day he first reported to me. He was resigning. It was not a coincidence that I had finally seen enough of his "no solution" approach to everything. I was on the verge of letting him go, and really should have pulled the trigger before he did.

He had wasted a year focusing on why things were so bad and how nothing he could do would change the results. His reports on how bad things were and why there were no solutions took tremendous effort and energy. He could not see how this approach to running the business in his market was affecting his poor results. As far as he could tell, it wasn't his fault he wasn't having any success. He had reasoned there was no point in trying to find solutions when none existed.

The truth was that he neither had the motivation nor did he want to get the motivation necessary for improving things. Even more significant was the issue that finding solutions would require him to be part of the solution. It must have been easier to just be part of the problem. Also, by telling himself there were no solutions, he did not have to worry about failure.

He was a classic example of how it takes less effort to watch things fall apart than it does to put in the effort to make things succeed. Just as significant, it also shows how it is less painful to accept failure when no effort is given. Stated another way, it is one thing to expect failure and get it, but quite another thing to expect success and get failure.

There is a long history of many men and women who after failure have gone on to achieve significant success. Most of these acknowledged achievers continued to battle and would not abandon their goals no matter how bleak things looked.

It is important to realize that it takes not only failure, but also learning from failure, to achieve success. Positive-thinking people learn how to put their failures in perspective and they learn from their failures. They recognize that failure will get them closer to success with the next effort. Looking for bad outcomes is not what positive thinkers anticipate. They just learn to deal with it when it happens. They realize failure will happen along the way.

There are many stories about events that have gone bad (which are easy to find) that unfortunately enforce this belief that in the end, all things will go bad. Our news networks feed off this mentality. You might say that Murphy is not only well-known but also honored by his saying "Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong."

Have you ever taken the time to track the news you hear, read, or see over a week's time from the Internet, radio, television, or newspaper? It is frightening! Here are the headlines taken from one news web page on a given day. I don't need to mention which web page because any website, newspaper, or television news on this particular day would be dominated by the same stories:

Brownie: I screwed up, Chertoff screwed up worse
Record sentence sought for crooked congressman
Hamas takes hard line on international stage
Former pop star jailed for child abuse
Bathroom break ban teaches teacher a lesson
Cell phone bandit: "My whole life is ruined"
Fugitive dad with sick son's kidney might be in Mexico
Mine survivor will "roll his eyes" at attention
"20th hijacker" claims torture made him lie

These were nine out of twelve headlines. The only two that could be considered in the realm of positive information were not actually news items. These nine don't exactly bring a ray of sunshine into your day. It is hard to feel good after being subjected to this kind of news. Think about the fact that we are subjected to this kind of news daily, 24 hours a day, and 365 days a year. If you were to take a random thirty-minute analysis of your local news any day in any week, you would find more of the same. Your local news would update you on local murders, burglaries, car accidents, and crimes of every kind, mixed in with disheartening national stories. We literally get a perpetual feeding of bad news that has no end. Is it any wonder that seeing people smiling is not very common? Optimism takes a perpetual beating daily in our lives.

The need for an optimistic outlook as a cushion to all of the perpetual negative news should not be underestimated. Maintaining optimism is the only road to progress.

I recently walked through an entertainment and service business just to get a gauge on the environment before meeting with the general manager. Since this was an entertainment establishment, it could be assumed that the employees' focus would be on enhancing the customer experience. Is that a fair expectation of an entertainment facility? I would certainly think so.

During this thirty-minute walk-through, I came in close contact with nearly thirty employees. These employees, who were taking care of a customer's needs or just walking by me, had one clear thing in common: they did not smile and their persona left the impression they did not want to be there. I don't know what was more shocking, that I did not see one person smile or that this was an entertainment facility!

These people obviously did not enjoy their jobs. However, I have the feeling that they did not smile regularly outside of the facility either. Is it the news and events in our daily life that causes this sadness or is it more related to an inability to put things in perspective?

How much responsibility do we have for our own morale?

In spite of the fact that the news we watch, listen to, or see on the Internet is dominated by negativity, we, individually, control the volume. We also determine to what extent we wish to be impacted. Certainly, one could argue that bad news is more interesting and, as such, gets more attention. That does not mean that we all don't want to feel better at the end of the day.

I'm sure most psychologists would say that watching bad news makes us feel a little better about our own situations. That is why we are interested in hearing about other people's misfortunes. However, it is one thing to watch, listen, or read in an unattached way and feel better about one's own situation. It is another to confront the negativity "eyeball to eyeball" that seeps into one's own space.

The first way to take control of your life is to have a positive perspective about your environment, while at the same time believing that things can always get better. This is not only the key to always improving your own situation. It has been proven that it goes a long way in helping one maintain good health. It is a characteristic I have always looked for when hiring people and I still do.

Like anything else, there is no way to achieve perfection. Not everybody who worked for me maintained a constant positive perspective. But, those who did were more successful in their careers and from what I could see also had happier home lives.

In an article written by Del Jones in a 2005 issue of USA Today titled "Optimism Puts Rose-Colored Tint in Glasses of Top Execs," he stated that "the quality most common to those at the top is their tendency to see everything through rose -colored glasses." He added, "Leaders, it seems, are more optimistic than the rest of us curmudgeons."

The article went on to say:

Survey after survey indicates this. When 50,000 workers were asked, 54% of senior managers said they viewed their organizations as "healthy," according to a Booz Allen Hamilton survey released last month. But just 33% of middle managers and less than 30% of the rank and file echoed the sentiment.

Senior managers are overly optimistic, even about their own careers. When executive job search firm ExecuNet this year asked 1,500 executives how long they expected to be at their present job the average answer was 5.4 years. In reality their tenure has slipped to 3.6 years on average from 4.1 years in 2002. Last month there were 118 CEO departures vs. 46 in November 2004, according to outplacement firm Challenger Gray & Christmas.

The glass-half-full thinking spills over into just about everything. Sirota Survey Intelligence, which specializes in measuring employee attitudes, crunched data from 293,000 employees for USA Today and found that senior managers were more optimistic about almost everything at work, from teamwork to the speed of their own performance. A National Urban League survey of 5,500 workers last year found that 47% of executives think their companies had an effective diversity program vs. 32% of all employees.

The article goes on to add that according to Marcus Buckingham, author of The One Thing You Need to Know, "The opposite of a leader isn't a follower. The opposite of a leader is a pessimist."

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Excerpted from 15 Ways to Own Your Future by Michael Khouri. Copyright © 2015 Michael Khouri. Excerpted by permission of John Hunt Publishing Ltd.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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